How I Made My First $1 Million at 25

When I tell people I’m a millionaire, their first reaction is to doubt me. I don’t blame them. I’m young, I’m hot, and I carry myself more like a foreign model than a businessman. And yet I drive around in one of my three 2020–2022 model sportscars, own property in several cities, and regularly charter private jets for flights to the best hubs of sex tourism the orient can offer. Yeah, I guess I’m living the life.

Once they get over the surprise (and that can take a while), their next move is to ask how I did it. Some millionaires keep their tricks to themselves, but not me. I love attention. These are the secrets that have worked for me. If you want to know the tricks of the trade, first pay up for that Medium membership because, as I always say…

  1. Never don’t make money — Anything that’s worth doing is worth getting paid for. I learned this the first time my disabled grandmother asked me to help her buy groceries. Being able to reach the top shelf in the soup aisle is a skill and no skill should go unmarketed. That’s supply and demand. There’s a reason she asked me.

Follow these tips — actually, do better than that. Print this out and tape it up next to your bed so they’re the first thing you see every morning. Live your life by this text, set up a recurring payment (of whatever amount over $100 you think is fair) to my Venmo, and you’ll be rich in no time.



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